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Tiaras and Trucks

Tuesday, September 13, 2011

On Your First Day of School


My sweet Abbey,

Tonight, you hugged me goodnight tightly, with a smile, thrilled to be starting school “the day after this day.”

A pink plaid dress and silver shoes wait for you, to be forever immortalized in the first of your first day of school photos.

Your little backpack and water bottle are ready to be hung with care next to ten other little backpacks, worn by other boys and girls beginning this journey with you.

And I am fighting back tears.

My mind and my heart are in an epic battle as you snuggle safely into your pillow above my head.

Your footsteps tomorrow will be the first of many through your school years, steps that take you away from home and into a world filled with endless possibilities, opportunities of which you haven’t even dreamed.

Your future dazzles me.  Your observant nature, your imagination, your determination are all gifts you have only begun to unwrap.

Yet I worry that I haven’t prepared you for tomorrow.  I worry that my best efforts weren’t enough.

Will your teacher understand your hesitation isn’t indifference or defiance but discomfort with the unknown?

Will she draw you into participating when you float back a few steps, unsure how to join a game with new friends?

When you feel nervous about talking to someone new, will you reach for my hand and look around, worried, when you touch only air instead of my reassuring grip?

Will you discover a kindred spirit, someone who can draw out your silly giggle and dance of excitement?

I wish I could mold my love for you into something tangible, something to tuck inside your pocket, something to guard you against hurt or disappointment.

I hope my millions of hugs have imprinted my arms into your skin, so that you always feel my embrace, should you need it when I’m not there.

You are my tough and brilliant girl, and tomorrow is just a glimmer, a spark, in the light of your future.

I am so proud of you already.

Always & forever,
Mommy 
playing dress up at Madison's birthday party this weekend
a preview of the plaid dress
flapper dress, headband, hfaux gloves, and silver slippers will not be included

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