“I’m sweating,” Greta said, loosening the soft wool.
Jenna’s comfortable sedan was blasting heat. Cate and Greta had claimed the backseat, Cate stretching her legs on the seat amongst magazines, strawberry Twizzlers, and diet Coke.
“Let’s listen to Christmas music. We are going Christmas shopping,” Claire said.
Cate and Greta exchanged a quick glance, and Greta ducked into an extra-thick fashion magazine, letting her hair fall over her face.
“I made this playlist just for today!” Jenna protested.
“So you and Chase are getting serious?” Claire asked, Christmas music forgotten.
“That’s the craziest news of the holiday season, isn’t it?” Cate said lightly, catching Greta’s eye across the plush seats.
“You and Chase? I’d say you’ve made it a point to define crazy,” Greta agreed amicably.
Sensing a subtle shift in the energy of the car, Jenna flipped down her rearview mirror so she could see most of the back seat.
“Catherine Jane. Talk.”
“I thought we were talking,” Cate said. Greta bit her lip, laughter threatening to escape.
“I’m confused,” Claire spoke up. “I thought we were just going Christmas shopping?”
Cate glanced at Greta, who might have nodded.
“It’s going to come out eventually.”
“What’s going to-“
Cate smiled at Greta, who said, “You can’t wear gloves all night.”
“Wear gloves?” Claire asked, but Jenna swerved the car to the shoulder and leaned over the back of the seat.
“Are you crazy?” she asked, grabbing at Cate’s fuzzy gloves.
Mirthful, Cate let her pull it off.
“We’re not just going Christmas shopping!”
Light caught the diamond on Cate’s left hand, sparkling into dancing colors.
“My maid of honor and I would like to invite you on my first wedding dress shopping trip.”
the prompt:
This week, we’d like you to take us on an actual journey, specifically a road trip.
This is part of Greta's story, which is also my NaNoWriMo project and now over 30,000 words. Some of them can be found in Greta's Story.
OH I loved this, I got a little lost with EVERYONE, but after the 2nd reading, I was there..in the car, ripping her gloves off. How exciting!!!! Truly. I loved this. Plus the dialouge was so good. it flowed and jumped and gave me all the emotions I felt like i should be experiencing. What a happy happy car trip!
ReplyDeleteI worried about that, using four characters in such a short piece. (Of course I had to cut, cut, cut, too!) Hopefully it's not too confusing in the overall story. Sigh...I will try not to worry about that until December, right?
ReplyDeleteI love it when people can write dialogue well. I was not born with that gift. Great job!
ReplyDeleteI too got a little lost with the who is who but not enough to lose the intention behind the story.
ReplyDeleteI could kiss you. Big, fat smoochy kisses. Dialogue is something I feel a little weak in, and that's been one of my focuses for maybe six months. I am so happy you felt it sounded authentic!
ReplyDelete:) I guess I can only blame myself, since I had to drop some of the tags!
ReplyDeleteOh, this is fun! I had a little bit of a hard time following who was saying what, but it was really good. I get the impression these friends are very easy and comfortable with each other and there is a lot of love there.
ReplyDeleteYou might already have guessed this, but I adore friendships of four...four women, in particular. Fun way to announce an engagement and even better to have her friends with her for dress shopping! :>
ReplyDeleteI miss writing my four...
I was so excited that I read through it to fast the first time and hand to read it again! I love it!
ReplyDeleteI was all giddy with excitement at the thought of wedding dress shopping!
Aw, what a great surprise! I love the playful banter. :-) Great stuff!
ReplyDeleteLove this! You kept me wondering, then I thought I had it figured out and was glad I was right!
ReplyDeleteI love engagements.
ReplyDeleteI really enjoyed the play and conversation back and forth. You could see the women in the car, chatting, completely oblivious to what is REALLY going on contrasted with the ones who DO.
Aw, so fun! I love engagement stories and wedding dress shopping!
ReplyDeleteOh, what good news! An upcoming wedding and dress shopping!! The girl in me couldn't help but be excited and happy for Cate :)
ReplyDeleteI love the easy banters between the women in the car... it showed that they're all close friends, but there's always that one person to whom we could communicate with even without words... our BFF...
Great story, Angela! Keep it coming!
Oooh! dress shopping! So fun!
ReplyDeleteLove the example here of ensemble dialogue.
You did a nice job setting up the tension between the front in the back. 30,000 words! Congrats.
ReplyDeleteThis was so much fun! It reminded me of time with my girlfriends. I also loved how it was a shopping trip for the newly engaged friend and that the two girls used it as a way to surprise the other.
ReplyDeleteLisa
Definitely a fun story -- it unfolds so nicely. Good luck with Nanorimo!!
ReplyDelete