He found her slumped against the wall, lean legs stretched in front of her. Baby weight had never had the courage to creep into those legs. Tears clung to her eyelashes, unsure about falling.
“Lu? You ok?” Paul asked, concerned. Louise’s tears were usually reserved for an audience, maximizing their effect.
“You know she’s my life, right?”
“Elisabeth?” Paul asked, confused.
Louise nodded. Paused. Sighed. Blinked back her tears, letting them moisten the glittering blue orbs into sapphires.
“Did something happen to –“
“No! Oh Paul, no. Nothing like that,” Louise answered, unguarded, adoring eyes wandering to the Moses basket where their young daughter slept, curled around her closed fist.
Letting out the breath he hadn’t realized he was holding, Paul sank to the wood plank floor next to his wife. Perfectly diffused light danced around their feet, chipped polish beautifully lit, the reason Louise had fallen in love with this house.
Louise slid her feet around Paul’s, leaned into his shoulder, and sighed again. Paul breathed in the scent of her hair, lavender, and as familiar to him as the dramatic façade that hid her better, secret emotions.
“It’s just that my career, my photography career, had just started coming together,” she explained, patiently, sighing again.
Paul barely let himself think that one fashion shoot didn’t make a career.
Love, loyalty, and honest appreciation for her talent prevented him from losing confidence in her, even when he rationally knew how high she was reaching.
“Becoming a mother doesn’t mean you’re not a photographer anymore,” he said, instead, gently speaking into the top of her head.
“Vogue’s not exactly seeking out moms taking senior pictures between nursing sessions.”
Frustrated, she pushed her camera across the floor, carefully gauging its weight to make sure she didn’t slam it into her wide desk, sleek and modern across the windowed wall.
“Some days I wish I would have been more like Greta. She made sure she had this amazing career before even thinking about starting her family,” Louise said, wavering between petulant anger and envy, her genuine love for her sister-in-law keeping her from fully realizing either emotion.
Paul compulsively swallowed, suddenly unable to find any moisture in his throat. Hiding things from Louise was foreign to him, but his sister’s miscarriage hadn’t seemed like his secret to disclose.
“Lulu. I, uh... Lu. I need to tell you something about Greta.”
the prompt:
Write a short fiction or non-fiction piece inspired by any or all of the photo
Nice story collection from your personal blog! Interesting topics that you can share to others! Keep it up! Blog Walking!
ReplyDeleteused digger derrick trucks
Hmm... does he tell her?? I'm interested in what happens next! Are you planning on more?
ReplyDeleteSeems to me that she's being a little selfish and not enjoying the time she has with her baby. Although it does seem that she loves the baby too.
Finally he's going to tell her....Oh I want it now!!!
ReplyDeletethis:
Letting out the breath he hadn’t realized he was holding, Paul sank to the wood plank floor next to his wife. Perfectly diffused light danced around their feet, chipped polish beautifully lit, the reason Louise had fallen in love with this house.]
soooo gorgeous, the words just flowing and allowing me to sit with them. Oh how I love this story and now a new character to love...Louise. ;)
yea. xoxoxo
I like the cliffhanger because one character think another is better or more well off than her, while someelse is about to shatter that notion. That's awesomely suspensful. excellent Angela.
ReplyDeleteGreat job. I have read some of the other Greta pieces but I can't really remember them so this piece does fit well as a stand alone.
ReplyDeleteI can relate to Lu's issues about becoming a mother. It's so hard to find that balance.
Visiting from RDC
I love the highlighting of the tension between mom and career roles. Which played perfectly into her comparing herself to Greta.
ReplyDeleteWhat I thought was interesting was how much wasn't being said, Paul not actually voicing his feeling about her career, and then the overall silence of the secret he was keeping, and then you leaving us with tension of not knowing what happened!
Nicely done.
Seems to me there are a lot of secrets like dust in the perfect light of this room. Well done.
ReplyDeleteDum-dum-dum! Love it lady! Love the details, the imagery, the push of what the characters want and how they juxtapose to each other!
ReplyDeleteThis whole part- "Letting out the breath he hadn’t realized he was holding, Paul sank to the wood plank floor next to his wife. Perfectly diffused light danced around their feet, chipped polish beautifully lit, the reason Louise had fallen in love with this house." read beautifully!
XO
I liked how much was going on in a very small moment. The secrets, the swallowed emotions. Very nice!
ReplyDeleteThere was such great imagery, encompassing every sense. Your characters come to life through your writing. Thanks for the great prompt this week! :>
ReplyDeleteOh I remember Greta's story.
ReplyDeleteAnd yes, I think it does work as a stand alone piece but I liked it as part of their puzzle too.
I liked this a lot "Frustrated,
she pushed her camera across the floor, carefully gauging its weight to
make sure she didn’t slam it into her wide desk, sleek and modern
across the windowed wall." - controlled frustration. Says a lot about her personality perhaps?Great piece as usual :)Vikki
I love this line:
ReplyDelete"Louise slid her feet around Paul’s, leaned into his shoulder, and sighed again. Paul
breathed in the scent of her hair, lavender, and as familiar to him as
the dramatic façade that hid her better, secret emotions."
Your writing has incredible depth-and your imagery is powerful too. This piece stands alone perfectly, but at the same time within the longer body of writing would stand alone as a pivotal moment.
I'm so impressed!!
I have not read the other parts of the story, but I didn't need to in order to enjoy this. You've shown, not told, so much about your characters. You've made them people we can care about. Now I want to read Lu's reaction to what her husband is about to tell her.
ReplyDeleteWonderful piece! You did such a great job capturing that new mother feeling of losing yourself and that envy. And then, the irony of not realizing everyone else doesn't have it all figured out either.
ReplyDeleteThank you! It can be easy to forget that what you see on the outside and what's actually happening with people behind the scenes can be very different!
ReplyDeleteOh, I'm glad to hear that. I am enjoying continuing the story in bits and pieces, but I don't want people stumbling upon the characters for the first time to feel lost. I'm glad it worked for you as a stand alone piece.
ReplyDeleteWhat a kind compliment, thank you! I liked that little bit, too :)
ReplyDeleteI meant for it to show that she has more control over her emotions/reactions than she may let on at times. I hope that came through a little :)
ReplyDeleteI'm glad you liked the prompt! I had fun reading them.
ReplyDeleteI think characters might be my strong point. Sometimes I have problems with story arcs though!
Thanks Cheryl! That means a lot from you, because you always pack such a punch in short, concise scenes.
ReplyDeleteThank you! Chipped polish is a flaw that she probably wouldn't have allowed before the baby, but you know how those little people change things...
ReplyDeleteOooh, that's a lovely way of putting it.
ReplyDeleteThank you! I do feel sometimes in relationships with people we're close to, the unsaid things end up playing such a large role. Putting things on the table would probably save heartache at times (but cause it at others, I guess?)
ReplyDeleteThat balance is so hard. I always thought it would get easier, and it does in a way, but it gets harder, too.
ReplyDeleteThank you! Not to mention, he should have told her a long time ago, since Greta thinks she knows and has been reacting as if she does.
ReplyDeleteThank you! I didn't originally plan for her to be a likeable character, but finding out Paul hadn't told her about the miscarriage changed everything for me! (and here I am talking about them like I don't write them and just talk to them about what they do when I'm not around, LOL)
ReplyDeleteHugs!
I think she's being a little selfish but more just having a moment of doubt about how her new role as a mother will mesh with her previous dreams and expectations about her life.
ReplyDeleteHe's going to tell her :)
Thanks so much for stopping by! I'm glad you liked it.
ReplyDeleteI loved this: " Love,
ReplyDeleteloyalty, and honest appreciation for her talent prevented him from
losing confidence in her, even when he rationally knew how high she was
reaching." This says so much about their relationship - his dedication, her talent. Losing oneself in motherhood is such a lonely and scary thing some days. Luckily your character has a strong partner.
Thank you! I can't say that I had those feelings right away, like she is having, but I do find it hard to find that line now - where they end and "I" begin. Tough stuff.
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