When She Grows Up...

I try not to project future careers onto Abbey and Dylan.  Even when she asked, "Can I go to college when I'm older?" I calmly replied, "I hope you do, yes," because I know there are roads that lead in other directions than to ivy-covered university walls. 

Yet, sometimes her little imagination paints the picture for me.

Introducing Dr. Abbey...

The other doctors in her practice are Dr. Dylan (I like to think of him as a resident, since he mostly chews the equipment) and Dr. Mommy. 

Her most frequent patients are Baby Jess, Mommy, Boop, Baby Cinderella, Baby Dylan (no wonder he gets confused. doctor? patient?), and Sparty the stuffed dog.

Her favorite method of treatment is "I'm going to have to give you a shot today," but she also gives stickers (real or pretend) if you endure the shot bravely. 

There's something so precious about her fanciful imagination combined with the infinite promise of her whole life spread open before her.  In these moments when she invents and pretends and gets lost in her own world, I truly see the enormity of my job.  I've been entrusted with two little lives to nurture and protect and give strength, and the utter responsibility of parenting is awe-inspiring and wonderful and terrifying all at the same time.

Borrowing from the Bank

I did my homework this week for the Back to School blogging challenge! The first part of the homework involved making a deposit of ten ideas into the Idea Bank; the second part was writing a post using one of the ideas from the bank.

I want to write about a childhood memory that still affects how I feel today. It’s a memory that I mull over more than necessary, especially since having a daughter.

Nursery school was a pretty rocking time, from what I recall. I remember a cool wooden loft that was used as a story nook, cute little cubbies to hang our things, some beanbags to play with, a shady outdoor area.

And a lady that told me little girls shouldn’t eat as much as little boys.

she said what?

I know, Dylan, crazy, right?

To back up a bit, my best buddy and partner-in-crime back then was a little boy named Craig. So one day, at snack time, we were having chocolate pudding. Craig and I were sitting at a mini-table, on those mini-chairs, another one of our friends was sitting there as well. I was excited to have our snack, excited to be sitting with my friend, and when Craig took a giant helping of pudding, I spooned the same mega-scoop into my little bowl with a smile.

And the nursery school helper immediately told me that I shouldn’t have taken so much pudding. She said it sternly. She told me that girls do NOT eat as much as boys.

At four years old, I didn’t have body image issues. But I remember feeling embarrassed and ashamed, and a four-year-old shouldn’t feel ashamed about a little extra pudding. It obviously impacted me a lot since I still remember it with crystal clarity, even though most of my early memories are much hazier.

I cringe when I think about that sharp statement and the countless other off-hand remarks that have shaped my body image. I know I can’t keep Abbey in a sparkly, pink bubble, immune to society’s immense pressure on girls to look a certain, often unattainable, way. I can’t bottle the innate self confidence that children possess and save it for her to breathe in the first time she hears one of those negative remarks.

But I do my best every day to strive to feel better about myself, so that she grows up watching me feel comfortable in my own body, complete with its imperfections and its strengths.

If she takes a little extra pudding one day, because her best bud Brendan has an extra large helping? I’m pretty sure she’ll make up for it by running around, laughing and smiling the whole time.

a friend is borrowing last year's ladybug costume

Abbey (of course) needed to try it on

to be honest, the tutu is in regular dress-up rotation 

she was bummed to let it go

I tried to explain that Ella will bring it back

a good lesson in the concept of borrowing?

My Dog Ate It and Other Bad Excuses

So, I'm participating in this fabulous blogging challenge, which is supposed to do a couple of things for me. 

1) Improve my blog.  Now that I'm writing more, I want to make it a little more user-friendly, especially for people who enjoy reading my ramblings as well as checking out my cute little munchkins.

2) Allow me to connect with other cool bloggers, for example Jackie, who was my partner this week.  She spent some time looking objectively at my blog and gave me some things to think about in order to make some improvements.  She has cute kids, too, click over there to see them :)

3) Fulfill that school itch that set in when this former teacher/lover of school realized that this was the first fall since pre-school that I wasn't buying school supplies for something. 

Unfortunately, this is the first week, and I'm already behind!  I got all caught up in my blog inspection and let my head go to la la land, dreaming of major improvements (navigation pages, more tagging, easier ways to find what you need).  I had an assignment (find a widget, love it, blog it), and instead I'm wandering around, making wishes, blowing dandelions in the wind. 

Not cool.  I only stopped teaching nine months ago.  I should know that you don't write a master's thesis without doing some research and serious drafting.  Baby steps.  Next week I will buckle down and focus on the actual assignment instead of getting all ADHD on myself.