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Tiaras and Trucks

Monday, January 9, 2012

Three Hundred Sixty Seconds

stolen moments on Christmas Eve
an extra long nap while conversation and love surrounded him

I knew what I wanted.

Five or six minutes, somewhere between three hundred sixty seconds.

Motherhood steals time from expected places: nightly hours of sleep are chipped away to a series of catnaps, leaving the house is packing snacks and timing naps and realizing I need to do one more diaper change before walking out of the door.

It snatches time from unexpected moments as well: sitting down to read a book and flipping to the beginning three or five or ten times to twist my tongue around the rhymes of Dr. Seuss, opening the blinds in the morning and watching the recycling truck slowly moving down our street, separating yellow lids from green bins and sliding glass and paper into labeled chutes on the passenger side.

Stealing three hundred sixty seconds from a two hour run seemed reasonable, even simple, when I finished my half marathon in April and began to set my goal for my October run.

Sliding comfortably into a training plan I’d used before, my body tumbled into the routine, my feet moving through the motions and the miles I checked off on my calendar each night.

But my mind wandered.

Writing and motherhood and relationships gathered round, throwing balls into the air at a dizzying speed, daring you to juggle them all while chasing your laughing toddler away from the fireplace doors for the eighty-first time before ten in the morning.

I hardly noticed when my training ball dropped, falling slowly out of rotation, runs missed and miles staring at me from the white page of my planner, yearning for the decorated highlighter of the miles actually completed.

With my race looming, I shifted my thinking, trusting that my mental strength hadn’t lagged behind with my endurance building workouts.

It hadn’t; I finished the half marathon with a smile, the time a respectable one for someone more closely aligned with the tortoise than the hare.

But I hadn’t stolen those minutes. 

I hadn’t met my goal time.

So this past Tuesday, I crept into the gym and climbed onto the treadmill.

This Saturday, I let the unexpectedly warmth of forty degree sunshine beat onto my shoulders as my feet tentatively found their familiar loop.

Saturday night, I registered for my fifth half marathon, three hundred sixty seconds pushing me towards October. Again.

Write on Edge: RemembeRED
This week we’d like you to write a memoir piece about an unfulfilled goal or a broken resolution, beginning with the words, “I knew what I wanted".

 
If you haven't read enough about my running today, I'm over at Just.Be.Enough., hosting the weekly link-up and talking about my first run of 2012.

Labels:

41 Comments:

  • At January 9, 2012 at 10:47 AM , Anonymous Lance said...

    go Angela go

    I've only run a handful of 10ks

    13+ miles is beastly....I admire you

     
  • At January 9, 2012 at 11:28 AM , Anonymous Angela said...

    10K is a pretty awesome distance.  I should run more of those! 

    But thank you :)

     
  • At January 9, 2012 at 11:36 AM , Anonymous Megan (Best of Fates) said...

    I'm so impressed! Good luck!

     
  • At January 9, 2012 at 11:37 AM , Anonymous Kristen said...

    So exciting! I love that I see more and more people signing up for these long runs. I have issues with my knee so I can't run as often as I like anymore but I still find ways to keep moving. Good luck with your training and for remembering that this is something for YOU.

     
  • At January 9, 2012 at 3:48 PM , Anonymous Miss Marina Star said...

    Oh how well I know this feeling. I have been robbing myself of training time for so long I can't even remember how it feels to spend those precious hours alone. Good for you for realizing that you need to take that back for yourself. And good luck on getting that 360 shaved off your time!

     
  • At January 9, 2012 at 6:48 PM , Anonymous Alison@Mama Wants This said...

    Stealing minutes - that's something I try to do all the time. Be it getting clothes ready for the next day the night before, rushing through a shower, or eating while walking. I'm thinking it'd be good practice for when baby #2 shows up.

    Good luck for your next half marathon!

     
  • At January 9, 2012 at 10:11 PM , Anonymous Kristin & Megan said...

    Way to be lady! I've been stealing an hour a few times a week to do pre-natal yoga and it's been glorious!

     
  • At January 10, 2012 at 2:24 AM , Anonymous Sweaty said...

    Oh you are so right about how much "motherhood steals time from unexpected places"!  I could totally relate to that.

    But at the same time I think you're doing wonderfully, Angela.  It's a pain in the butt to get yourself back to top form after a long vacuum, but I believe that you're on the right track, my friend!  Best of luck in getting your speed up, and don't forget to listen to your body... :)

     
  • At January 10, 2012 at 9:18 AM , Anonymous Angela said...

    Thank you so much; it's tough to realize it's ok to want the time for myself, too.  Everyone is so busy right now that I sometimes feel guilty carving out the time, even if it IS at 6 am!

     
  • At January 10, 2012 at 9:19 AM , Anonymous Angela said...

    Good for you!  You look so beautiful, and I'm glad to hear you're feeling well, too :)

     
  • At January 10, 2012 at 9:19 AM , Anonymous Logyexpress said...

    I wrote about running too. I wish I were better at stealing time, but neither time management nor speed are strengths of mine! I ran one half marathon, almost two years ago now, and I swore I wouldn't do that distance again until I got faster. 13.1 miles just take too damn long at my speed. Good luck with your winter training!

     
  • At January 10, 2012 at 9:19 AM , Anonymous Angela said...

    Thanks Alison :)

    You're making me giggle at "eating while walking," because that's what it's about, right?

     
  • At January 10, 2012 at 9:20 AM , Anonymous Angela said...

    Will you laugh if I tell you that there are times at the gym when I turn on one of those L & O marathons to keep me occupied on the treadmill?

    Thank you for your kind & encouraging words, as always!

     
  • At January 10, 2012 at 9:21 AM , Anonymous Angela said...

    Thank you!  I should be able to get rid of them in the next 200 plus days, right?  I hope you can find some time for yourself, soon.

     
  • At January 10, 2012 at 9:22 AM , Anonymous Angela said...

    Knee issues are a pain (literally).  My flexibility roller is a best friend, so that helps a little, but I know there will be a point where my knees become an issue.

     
  • At January 10, 2012 at 9:23 AM , Anonymous Angela said...

    Well, thank you so much!  (If you saw my times, you wouldn't be impressed, LOL)

     
  • At January 10, 2012 at 9:26 AM , Anonymous Katie Eggeman said...

    It is importand to take time for yourself and your goal  is a very worthy one. It is hard "juggling" those balls with a toddler

     
  • At January 10, 2012 at 9:27 AM , Anonymous KathleenBasi said...

    That was a beautiful reflection. Good luck stealing your seconds. :)

     
  • At January 10, 2012 at 9:27 AM , Anonymous Some call me John said...

    As Julie Gardner is quick to tell you, you're going to win that race.

     
  • At January 10, 2012 at 9:33 AM , Anonymous Barbara said...

    Time for ourselves is the easiest lost. Good for you to not give up! Good luck!

     
  • At January 10, 2012 at 3:08 PM , Anonymous Skpadilla said...

    I relate to this post in many ways- the stolen hours of sleep, the missed training opportunities. Good job on finishing the most recent half and good luck in the next one!

     
  • At January 10, 2012 at 4:25 PM , Anonymous Cheryl Rosenberg said...

    I need to borrow those seconds, if that's all it would take to get me motivated again. I have one half on the calendar, with another pending. I have a bad case of the I-don't-wannas.

     
  • At January 10, 2012 at 5:59 PM , Anonymous Angela said...

    I say that, too, that I won't do one until I get faster.  And then I do anyway.  And then say it again :)

     
  • At January 10, 2012 at 5:59 PM , Anonymous Angela said...

    Yes, they like to jump up and knock the balls to the ground, don't they?

     
  • At January 10, 2012 at 6:00 PM , Anonymous Angela said...

    Thank you!  I hope I can do it :)

     
  • At January 10, 2012 at 6:00 PM , Anonymous Angela said...

    Yay for Julie and winning races ;)

     
  • At January 10, 2012 at 6:01 PM , Anonymous Angela said...

    So very true that it's the time we lose the quickest, right?

     
  • At January 10, 2012 at 6:01 PM , Anonymous Angela said...

    Thank you; I am glad that it was something that you could relate to as well.

     
  • At January 10, 2012 at 6:01 PM , Anonymous Angela said...

    I don't need them until October :)  They're yours until then, lady!

     
  • At January 10, 2012 at 7:53 PM , Anonymous Cameron (CDG) said...

    "Motherhood steals time from unexpected places."

    That's an amazing line. Amazing.

     
  • At January 10, 2012 at 8:05 PM , Anonymous Julie Gardner said...

    DANG it. You're going to motivate me to start running again, aren't you.

    Aren't you?

    XO

     
  • At January 10, 2012 at 8:44 PM , Anonymous Angela said...

    Well yes, yes I am ;)  Just. Do. It.

     
  • At January 10, 2012 at 8:45 PM , Anonymous Angela said...

    Thanks Cam :)  It means a lot coming from someone who kills me pretty much everytime I read something you write.

     
  • At January 10, 2012 at 9:59 PM , Anonymous jentos23 said...

    You can do it, Angela!! I know it :) 

     
  • At January 11, 2012 at 1:40 AM , Anonymous Asproulla said...

    Lots of nice images here: 'one more aligned with the tortoise than the hare' stands out, as does the idea of juggling and sustaining the image with the 'training ball falling slowly out of rotation'.  Good luck this time around :)

     
  • At January 11, 2012 at 2:12 PM , Anonymous Lady Jennie said...

    I'm torn between wanting to jump back in and work on getting in shape, and still dealing with healing and schedules back in full force.  This was inspiring.

     
  • At January 11, 2012 at 2:36 PM , Anonymous sailwawasee said...

    Your dude is preeeeecious! I remember reading "Go Dog Go" until everyone in the family knew every single word (not hard to do). We loved the piture in the tree at the end! Miss those times more than words can describe. It goes fast.

    You go, girl! Keep up your running whenever you can and keep challenging yourself with the "half". Exercise keeps me sane.

    Where does your husband's cousin teach? Tegucigalpa, the capital? Most do. Love the country and people.

     
  • At January 14, 2012 at 11:16 PM , Anonymous Angela said...

    The dog party!  We like that book, too.  Dylan gets all excited that they have ice cream.

    Yes, that's where she lives; she's been down there a while and actually just got married there.

     
  • At January 14, 2012 at 11:16 PM , Anonymous Angela said...

    You have time, my friend, though I am glad it made you feel like working out :)  I should read it each night before bed.

     
  • At January 14, 2012 at 11:17 PM , Anonymous Angela said...

    Thanks so much.  I hope I'll be able to trim those few minutes...

     
  • At January 14, 2012 at 11:17 PM , Anonymous Angela said...

    Thanks Jen!  You are much more hare-like than I am, though :)

     

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