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Thursday, January 12, 2012

Tannins

“Let me get our coats,” Vaughn said, glancing back only once before leaning into the cold granite of the coat check counter.

Pulling a mirror and lip gloss from her purse, Carly quickly swiped away smeared mascara with her pinkie, attempting to transform her eyes from bleary to sultry. Her lip gloss tingled peppermint on her tongue as she licked her lips, the subtle sheen fading into insignificance over her cabernet-tinged pucker.

Trying to focus her glance, Carly blinked, the white tablecloth stabbing at her eyes. Was the almost-empty bottle on the table their second or third? She blinked again as Vaughn’s hand slid under her elbow, guiding her to the car waiting in front of the bar, leather seats unfriendly on her bare thighs.

He flung the car into gear, sliding carelessly around the corner before parking, letting the engine idle. Vaughn leaned in and pulled her close in one movement, his hand too heavy at Carly’s dangerously short hemline.

Intoxication encouraged her head to fall back at the insistence of his lips, enjoying the abandon of the kiss. Taste buds sliding together, she recognized the oak and pepper of the wine they had shared, the salty bite of olives covering another, unwelcome taste.

Her nose wrinkled as she broke the kiss, too drunk to read his eyes.

“Why do you taste like cigarettes?”

Silence, electric and cold.

“Do you smoke?”

“No.”

Her breath caught as she tried again to focus on his heavy-lidded eyes.

“But my wife does.”

The locks clicked loudly as his hand, still tangled in her hair, tightened at the base of her skull.

Write On Edge: Red-Writing-Hood
the prompt:
flavor

24 comments:

  1. Is there more?  You've caught Carly's helplessness very well... and the blended tastes and aromas of snacks, wine, attraction and ... dismay?

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  2. Uhoh sounds like trouble a-brewing!  Great writing

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  3. Thanks so much.  Trouble definitely...though I'm not sure of what sort quite yet.

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  4. Thank you!  Nothing else with this yet.  It just kind of tumbled out yesterday; they're completely new characters to me.

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  5. EH! Gross. Way to let a flavor ruin the evening! I did not see that coming, well done!

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  6. ooohhh, that is NOT a good ending. I have a horrible feeling Carly is going to end up in a ditch somewhere.

    Ugh, I hate the taste of cigarettes. Only ever dated on guy who smoked :p

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  7. Ooooh, tense. Chilling! 

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  8. I love these new characters...and I love the drama (my new character is dating a married man too...) I could taste all those flavors, pulling back from the smoker ..this was fantastic Ang. :)

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  9. Zing! That was awesome.

    You truly captured the spirit of the prompt, and helped us feel just a little bit drunk along with her. I loved the various flavors, and how they are all either connected to the character or move the plot forward....usually both.

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  10. Wow! That was amazingly unexpected. Well done!

    I am new to Write On Edge. Checking out a few of the responses to this week's meme. Great stuff!

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  11. Thank you!  I haven't figured out if it is just gross or menacing. Time will tell, perhaps.

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  12. Maybe...I don't have a good feeling; that's for sure.

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  13. Thank you!  I'm not EXACTLY sure where it came from, but I am fairly intruiged.

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  14. Thanks Kir.  I hope your character's married guy isn't teetering on the sociopathic.  I have bad feelings about my guy ;)

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  15. Thanks Nancy!  I'm trying to work a little on plot development/action, so that means a lot :)

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  16. Thank you so much.  And welcome to Write on Edge!

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  17. Oh my goodness... awesome.
    leather seats unfriendly on her bare thighs! Sweetthe ending was so unexpected that I got goosebumps. Poor girl

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  18. Dang!  That was suspenseful!  I loved it!

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  19. OMG! That was fabulous! what a great twist at the end. And so well written. I could feel her intoxication. And I especially love the title. 

    And thank you so much for your kind words over at Just Be Enough. I appreciated them so much. 

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  20. Thanks so much.  Now to decide if I should take this anywhere. 

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  21. I should thank YOU for sharing those lovely words at JBE :) 

    And thanks for the compliment.  This kind of came out of nowhere and went somewhere I wasn't expecting.

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  22. I love the title, it's just right, the dryness at the back of the throat--whether from fear or grape skins in the wine.

    And whew... scary. 

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  23. Oh wow, Angela!  This story gripped me from the beginning to the end!  I've got goosebumps from reading this.  And the title?  I think it describes the literal and figurative 'flavor' of the story perfectly!

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