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Tiaras and Trucks

Thursday, February 24, 2011

Neanderthal Not Included

Furnish Your Man Cave* Today!

iPhone 4 - $300

     Black, less than one-month old, near new condition

     Item will be available for pick-up after text messages and inappropriate photos
     are downloaded to establish a pattern of lying, misdirection, poor taste, and
     less-than-stellar fitness habits.

La-Z-Boy Recliner – FREE!

     Faded mocha-colored microfiber, used

     Perfect for use in a garage or a basement, especially for a pet. Previously used
     by an oversized dog, figuratively speaking.

Neon Signs (Pabst Blue Ribbon, Coors Light, and Budweiser) - $150 each or $350 for set

     Bright, somewhat tacky, near new condition

     Ideal gift for someone living in a dorm room, fraternity house, or an alternate
     reality where life resembles a Will Ferrell movie.

Poker Table - $150

     Seats eight with cheap beer cup holders, green felt, professional quality, gently
     used

     Regular poker players – do you have a poker-playing friend who never seems to
     lose?
     Purchase this table and deliver it to his or her home! I can attest that the
     owner of this table will lose his/her money quickly and consistently, no matter
     the skill or intoxication level of the other players at the table.


Price on all items negotiable

Photos available upon request

*Neanderthal not included

This fictional post is brought to you by the weekly writing prompt at the awesomeness that is The Red Dress Club.  It was inspired by my general annoyance at the insipid whinings of the husbands on HGTV who need a "man cave" more than something like an updated kitchen or a front door.


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