A Physics Lesson

There’s a law in physics that talks about every action having an equal and opposite reaction. I think. Now, I know I could Google this information pretty quickly, but I don’t want to do that. First of all, if I’m wrong, then the concept of this post won’t work. Secondly, I prefer to remember all of the limited physics knowledge I have coming from the school of Mike Cannon of Las Vegas – one of the greatest TV shows ever. Don’t underestimate Mike Cannon; he went to MIT, people!


Anyway, I’m off on a tangent (and I DO know what that means, thank you minor in math). What I want to talk about is how parenting is a lot like physics. Parenting involves a ton of anticipation; from the moment you pull the pregnancy test out of its foil wrapper, you’ve opened yourself up to the greatest sort of anticipation in the world. Boy or girl? Who will the baby look like? Shy or outgoing? Blue eyes or brown? The list is endless.

I’m learning, though, that for all of that anticipation, there’s an equal amount of regret involved. Maybe regret isn’t the right word. Maybe it’s something more like “what in the world was I thinking????”

For example, we watched Dylan for days when he was on the verge of crawling, anticipating his first little scoots across the floor. Adorable, right? I had to remind myself of that a couple of weeks later, when I left the room for about thirty seconds, only to return to find him perched on the top of the little picnic table in the dining room.

I remember waiting for what seemed like forever to hear Abbey’s sweet little voice say its first words; now there are days when I think I might pull out my hair if she starts one more sentence with, “I want…”

I’m currently lamenting the fact that Dylan seems to be a worse sleeper than Abbey, which I wasn’t really sure was possible. Yet, I know that one day I’ll be waiting for them to crawl out of bed after a late night out (I remember my own teenage years), and I started to think about how at least now I know they are safe at home, in bed or in our arms, and there’s something to be said for cuddling a baby well into the morning hours.

Basically, the physics of parenting states that for each moment of realized anticipation comes a bit of regret. Each of their little phases are so fleeting and sweet, and wishing them away simply so that I can get a better night’s sleep is only going to come back to haunt me in the end.

Of course that’s easier to say right now than it will be at 2:45 am when Dylan’s up for the sixth time in an hour…

MIT, feel free to contact me at your convenience for the guest professorship on Parenting Physics. You should see my kids demonstrate that irresistible force/immovable object law (or something like that.)

Photo evidence showing they already like to prove me wrong:

maybe the problem is that we expect them to sleep in their cribs?

seriously

he fell asleep before I even got his little pants all the way up

of course getting pants over a cloth diaper does take a little extra time

she didn't fall asleep with shoes on

she stayed asleep when I put them on

we were running late (of course that's when they decide to sleep)