Sacrifices

Cute kids at the beginning, because I ramble a little today!!

I loved our house the minute we set foot inside. Like many first-time buyers, my love was a combination of potential and imagination; I could see Christmas lights wound around the staircase and a cozy, calming bedroom retreat. Of course, I needed to look past the teal walls (and teal carpeting) to “see” my home inside the house we were potentially purchasing. My imagination has never been a problem, and those things easily disappeared into my mind’s eye. To my surprise, Home Depot doesn’t accept imaginary money, so our house’s potential has been stalled over the years, held back by money restraints, time restraints, energy restraints.

If my issues with our house were simply cosmetic, it would be easy easier to deal with this situation. I would tell myself, “Self, your house might not look the way you want, but you can make small changes. It will take some time, but it will be ok.”

Aesthetics aren’t the only issue, unfortunately, and it’s harder to look past the others. Pick a star, make a wish: I wish we had an open floor plan, since I am in the kitchen so many times during the day; I wish we had a remodeled kitchen, because ours never feels quite as clean as it should considering how many times a day I scrub and wipe and sweep; I wish our school district was better, because education is so dear to me; I wish we didn’t live on a main street, so that I didn’t panic a little each time Abbey goes sprinting away from me outside.

Michigan’s housing market tanked. That’s not my fault. We made a choice, though, for me to stay home with the kids, and that (obviously) affected our financial reality. Even with a job, I don’t know if we could have moved or made any major renovations, but without a job an income, we are basically parked here for a while.

There’s not a second that I think I made the wrong decision. My heart and my head know that I am finally, maybe for the first time in my life, doing what I am meant to be doing. But if anyone knows someone who wants to buy a fixer-upper with a lot of potential or someone who can fast-track us onto one of those major house renovation shows, you know where to find me!